A Hearts Lament

This interview was just going to be another one in a long line of interviews he had given and was yet to give.  He noted with sarcasm that once he had become famous people wanted to know about him, everything and anything and before they never cared about who he was. He reminded himself that if he tried selling his books as a roadside vendor in the markets of the city no one would even look at him twice but if he walked into a fancy bookstore they would throng him and hardy give him room for breathing. He walked onto the stage smiling as was expected of him. To his surprise it wasn’t just one person who was sitting there but 5 people. He kept his calm and sat down in the chair left empty for him and raised an eyebrow. The host he knew simply smiled. He surveyed the people arrayed before him, two gentlemen and 3 ladies including the lady who was originally supposed to interview him. The  show began and the host began by explaining that to make this interesting for both the audience and for him they had introduced the 4 fans into the show. These fans would be the ones who would interview him and that the host would just play the role of a moderator. This was going to be interesting he thought. As the fans began he answered them as enthusiastically as he could and as coolly as possible. They started with his basic background and worked their way up. Most of the questions were ones for which the answers were already well known, but he still answered them patiently and perfectly. All was going well and nothing was out of place until one of the men started asking awkward questions. Questions about why he picked a story of heartbreak to write, why he felt that his book deserved no happy ending. He was used to the first question a lot but his explanation was a standard defence that there was more sadness in the current world than happiness. Then the real trouble started when one of the ladies asked way he felt that sadness was what defined us and not happiness, why there was more sadness in the world than happiness. He replied with a small story “ Consider this, you have a boyfriend, you loved him a lot and he loved you  too came a point wherein he unable to do anything else unfortunately took hiss frustration out on you. You get angry that this is not the first time and that he has crossed a limit this time. You however are unforgiving, he knows it’s his fault but you still refuse to forgive him. Why?? Do you hate him now just for a mistake? Where has all the love you shared gone off to? I personally believed that love was and is the strongest force in the world. That being said, what world is ours when love cannot survive because one of the partners might be broken. Love is supposed to cut through everything, someone might get angry sometime but doesn’t mean they mean you harm or wish to hurt you, they after all are your beloved and they would still defend you just as hard and fight for you just as long. In a world where the strongest force cannot be strong what else is left but sadness. It is love that gives us our happiness and without it what else do we have but sadness?”. That little story left everyone shocked and dumbstruck. It was a while before someone spoke and the next one left even him surprised. The lady who was quiet for a lot of while asked her first question. Do you believe, really believe that love is the strongest force?” He replied in the affirmative and then she popped a question that made  many a jaws drop. “if love is the strongest then I love you and will you marry me?” He was amused at the proposal itself but he kept quiet and calm and said “I’m sorry but I cannot.” The audience released its collective breath as the girl looked possibly distressed. He said I’ll explain and I shall explain only once once I’m done I shall leave but I am doing this so that you and any others can understand why I cannot. Long ago I loved a lady. She was bright beautiful elegant and very very kind. I loved her and she loved me. Everything I told you in the above example happened to us. After that I always blamed myself for what I had done. How with my actions I turned the person I loved the most and the person who had loved me the most into total strangers. It took a toll on both of us and finally I was left heartbroken and she was left feeling betrayed. I tried and tried to get her back. I took the pain out on my body, I fought against myself and finally I realized I hated myself for what I had done but I still loved her every bit as much as I had loved her ever. I decided that since the heart was gone anyway its better it be lost on one person. I have loved her, I still love her and will love her. However since she shall not have me and since I caused her too much pain I decided that she can live so that she remains happy and she remains as she wishes and I shall always love her irrespective of whether she loves me or not so that in the end love can at least remain in one of our hearts. That pain and burden are all mine to bear and I shall bear them as long as I can but I cannot in my full level of conscious agree to do that to another lady and be a cause of even greater misfortune SO until I die I have made my bed and I shall sleep in it. Good Bye”